Many of the diners around me were well-dressed young ladies, in twos or threes. At one table was a group of seven office girls celebrating something or other.

Scenes of single young women gathering at posh Western restaurants, nightclubs and wine-bars, are common in 21st century Singapore.

Many are unmarried graduates in the 20s and 30s, who are confident, individualistic and who rely on no man. Many are professionals, executives and teachers, etc.

They go on annual holidays with other girls to faraway places like Egypt and Switzerland, frequent nightspots, buy the latest fashion-wear, work out at the gym or do rock climbing at weekends.

To the government’s worry, many are quite content to remain single, childless and independent.

The emancipation of women, thanks to a fast-track education system, has been one of Singapore’s biggest achievements since independence, contributing greatly to its economic growth.

The results today are everywhere.

The better-educated “weaker” gender is enjoying a strong surge in status and buying power that is not far behind the men’s.

As Mao Zedong said of China’s women: “They hold up half the heaven.” It’s not far wrong here.

Some 52% of Singaporean women are working, earning on average 70% of what the men are drawing.

The business community has long taken notice of it and had been aiming their marketing strategy towards female consumers – from early teens to grandmothers.

Single women alone are believed to be spending some S$500mil (RM1.15bil) a year.

More retail outlets are catering exclusively to teenage girls from as young as 12 with products that range from soft toys to feminine trinkets and from instant photos and fingernail painting to designer handbags and sneakers.

Yes, the consumer society is immensely active here and the young ladies are fast learners.

In university, they outnumber men 55-45 and outscore them in several fields. Many of them are graduating into the higher strata of work and responsibility.

What is good for the economy may be not be so for the family institution, which is considered the cornerstone of society.

“The nation is only as strong as the family units that make it up,” the leaders often say. Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew has said Singapore cannot be strong if too many families are weak.

Lee once blamed himself for causing the rising number of unmarried women as well the increasing divorce and falling birth rates.

He attributed the cause to his giving women equal education and job opportunities in the 1960s.

Today some 40% of women between 25-29 are not married, while 26.3 percent of those aged 30-34 is single.

Divorce rates are also rising; the ratio of break-ups in relation to new marriages is about three to ten.

“Singapore women are now as well educated and earning as much as men,” he said. “This has altered the husband-wife relationship and affected the nature of our society.”

It often leads to friction in the home when an independent-minded wife no longer wants to be the passive, obedient wife and the husband thinks her role should remain in the kitchen even as she works.

I have noticed how this changing chemistry between married couples works at hawker centres.

When an elderly couple walks in, for example, it is often the man who sits down at the table while his wife goes about the stalls ordering food.

For these wives, serving the husband has long been a habit - but not the younger set.

Among young couples, the opposite is likely to happen; the woman sits down while the man does the buying and brings the food to her.

The affects add up to a triple whammy for Singapore as with many advanced cities – declining marriage, rising divorce and a reluctance of women to have children.

Even the less-educated wives are now reluctant to have children, according to a survey mentioned by Dr Tan Thiam Chye.

“We didn’t expect this. Previously, we had thought that it was the higher educated women that did not want children,” said Tan, principal investigator of the study.

The most common reason given by couples on birth control is: “Life in Singapore is too stressful for parents and children.”

Well-known blogger, mrbrown wrote, “What does that tell you about life here? Life is tough here and it is only going to get tougher. Having a family only adds to that strain.”

The study established two reasons why women chose not to have children – the reluctance to change their lifestyles and financial difficulty.

One in four pregnant women said that having children had not been their intention.

Some women consider that having them could be an obstacle to their careers or overseas travel or flexibility to work abroad.

Will the institution of marriage and procreation rates get better in future?

In the United States recent statistics show more people getting married but it is by no means an established long-term trend.

Under the influence of TV and the Internet, young Singaporeans are becoming more liberal, many of them shedding their traditional Asian values.

This puts personal interest over that of any institution – whether it’s marriage, the family or raising children - which doesn’t augur well for the future.

The best hope is to slow down the rate of deterioration by one or two generations.

o Seah Chiang Nee is a veteran journalist and editor of the information website littlespeck.com

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