S'pore government matchmaking agency thrives

"There is a lot of pressure, from family and relatives, to find someone and think about settling down," said Michelle Stephen, a 27-year-old employee of the Ministry of Community Development.

"They are constantly telling me that I'm getting old, and that I should get married soon before I'm over the hill," she said.

"I would get married if I found the right person. But it is difficult, and you don't have much time for a social life because of work."

Such difficulties have pushed many graduates to join the SDU.

In the last five years, SDU membership has risen by more than one-third to 19,888.

The SDU organises various events for single graduates in Singapore, such as trips abroad, or Christmas gatherings, with the sole purpose of finding the right partners for its members.

Lynette Hooi, a former SDU member who owns her own public relations company, says SDU activities are geared towards getting members of the opposite sex together.

"They have a tea party for new members. At the party, the women will tend to cluster on one side of the room, and the men on the other side. To get people to mingle, the organisers tell the women that they have to get three namecards from the men and vice versa. It is quite teenagerish," Hooi said.

"Also, when SDU organise trips, they would keep to an equal number of men and women, so that everyone will have a partner," she said.

MARRIAGE A SOURCE OF GOVERNMENT CONCERN
A falling reproductive rate and the reluctance of young Singaporeans to get married has become a national concern, leading to the establishment of the SDU in 1984 alongside another similar agency for non-graduates.

The latest data from Singapore's Department of Statistics shows that between 1992 and 1996, the number of marriages in Singapore fell by around two percent annually, with the exception of 1995, when the number rose slightly from the previous year.

No data was available yet for 1997. From 1992 to 1996, the total number of marriages in Singapore dropped by around seven percent to 24,106, the Department of Statistics said.

The numbers also showed that the mean age of new brides had risen steadily from 24 in 1976 to 27 in 1996.

DIVORCE RATE RISES...
But while the total number of marriages in Singapore has fallen, the divorce rate has risen in recent years.

From 1992 to 1996, the number of divorces and marriage annulments in Singapore rose by 17 percent to 4,634, the Department of Statistics said.

One reason is that increasingly affluent and better educated Singaporeans come to expect more of marriage and their partners, divorce lawyers and counsellors say.

"Everyone has higher expectations as the years roll on and people progress economically, educationally and socially," said Anamah Tan, president of the Singapore Council of Women's Organisations (SCWO) and a solicitor specialising in family law.

"Divorce is the less attractive part of progress. Whilst the increase is not phenomenal, we are still very concerned," she said.

...BUT CARRIES LESS OF A STIGMA
Tan said that women in Singapore were becoming increasingly less dependent on their husbands, allowing them more choices.

Hamidah Bahaswan, a former counsellor with an organisation that handles Moslem marriages and divorces in Singapore, said that with divorce carrying less of a stigma in the conservative Asian community than it once did, it is seen by some as the simplest way out of a problematic marriage.

"It is seen as an individual decision to make. You are seen as an individual person, you are able to cope on your own. So all these so called good things about divorces make it look attractive," she said.

"But I see a lot of people who have gotten divorced and have regretted it. Very few feel that it's a good choice, because they have not really worked at the marriage to the best of their knowledge," she said.