The last 14 months have, however, been harrowing. The family's savings have been all but wiped out, and one of them is in jail.

In January this year, Tony (not his real name) began serving a 15-month sentence after being found guilty of molestation.

The others are finding it hard to cope with the separation because Tony, who is 47, is blind and mentally retarded.

"He's so likeable, honest and boyish," said elder sister Jasmin Soh. At birth, Tony nearly died. But two doctors managed to keep him alive, recounted Ms Soh.

"His life was saved but not his eyesight," she said. "Since then, my mother has lived in great guilt."

Tony is very fond of his mother, who is now in her mid-70s, wheelchair-bound and suffering from kidney failure, said Ms Soh.

"My mum cries nearly every day, especially (when he began serving his sentence). She'd go inside his room, come out and cry," said Ms Soh, her voice choking with emotion.

"She keeps saying: 'By the time he gets out, I may not be able to see him anymore.' She feels that she's dying. She's been in and out of hospital quite a lot of times already."

Detained ...

It was in March last year that the family's troubles began.

Tony was waiting for the bus to go to Ngee Ann Polytechnic, where he worked as a cleaner, when the police arrested him. It was the morning rush hour.

That evening, when he did not return home, his family began calling his friends, mostly from church. But his friends were just as clueless.

Throughout the night, his family tried calling him, but there was no response. His mobile phone had been taken away when he was put in the lock-up at the Clementi police station.

There, Tony had "repeatedly requested" that his sick mother be notified about his detention.

"He had been knocked down by a car before and hospitalised. He feared that our mother would be worried sick looking for him everywhere," said Ms Soh.

But no call was made to his family, Ms Soh said.

The next day, the Sohs called his boss, who told them Tony had not turned up for work. They knew "something serious must have happened" and called various hospitals to check if his name was on their patient lists.

They also called the police and made a missing person report.

Another sleepless night passed.

The next day, as she was leaving the office in the evening, Ms Soh received a frantic call from home telling her "something had happened". The police were raiding her flat. She rushed back to find Tony in handcuffs and in tears.

"They didn't even give him a chance to wipe his face. I quickly rushed for a cool wet towel to clean all his sweat and tears away.

"He continued to cry like a child. And he said, 'I'm not able to take care of mum. I'm sorry this thing has happened to me. You must take care of mum'. We've never seen him cry like that. Never in our lives," she said, as her tears began to fall.

(When contacted, the police said that, "for security reasons", a person under police custody is handcuffed at all times while being escorted for a raid. They also said they escorted Tony home the day after his arrest — not two days later.)

After the raid, Tony's family did not see him again until almost a week later — after he had assisted in further investigations and signed statements the police wanted him to sign, Ms Soh said, adding that during this time, he had no access to a lawyer.

Court's verdict: Guilty

Tony was eventually charged with molesting two schoolgirls while on Service No 176 bus to work.

During his trial at the end of last year, he testified that he could not remember the incidents described in the charges against him and strongly denied molesting anybody.

In his cautioned statement to the police, which sets out the charges against him, he had written in broken English that he had no intention of touching anyone but may have done so on the crowded buses he took daily. This was partly because he had difficulty balancing himself, he said.

According to the eye doctor who testified in court, Tony can only see silhouettes when looking at someone in close range and can only identify whether the person is male or female with great difficulty.

This makes Tony "legally blind", which neither the schoolgirls who lodged the complaints nor the investigating officer who arrested him knew initially.

One of the girls said she did not think the incident was accidental while her schoolmate was persuaded that Tony was involved as she was not the only complainant.

The court found Tony guilty.

Difficult times

On the day Tony began his jail term, his family was in court.

"My mum was there, crying in her wheelchair. He didn't even get a chance to turn back and hug her. We rushed down and went to the back of the court but we were not allowed to see him," said Ms Soh.

"There's a very strong bond in our family and we take care of each other very closely. It felt like a very important part of us has been taken away."

Like her mother and brother, Ms Soh has a medical affliction. She suffers from nerve and bone pains as a result of being hit by a bus and she is on long-term medication. Her sister had a stroke a few months ago and was diagnosed as suffering from a chronic heart condition.

The events of the last year have taken a financial toll on the Soh family. First they had to quickly borrow $18,000 from relatives to raise bail for Tony.

Then the legal fees — some $20,000 — wiped out Ms Soh's savings as well as what her mother calls her "coffin money".

The day Tony was found guilty was the day Ms Soh lost her job — for taking too much leave to attend to her brother's matters.

Before that, she used to regularly skip lunch and walk to work — taking some 45 minutes — to save money to pay for his legal representation. She has since found another job as an executive at a multi-national company.

The biggest burden, though, is having Tony in jail and away from the care of the family.

The earliest that he can be released, on good behaviour, is November.

Every fortnight when his family visits him, he tells them how some prisoners get to serve their sentence under the Home Detention Scheme.

Given Tony's disabilities, wouldn't it better to put him on that scheme, asks Ms Soh.

Pausing to collect herself, she said: "We miss him a lot."

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