The younger political leaders are themselves taking a number of baby steps to move away from the old “nanny” days of strict control on what people can or cannot do with their love lives.

This is partly in response to a changed generation, which is more fun-loving and adventurous about sex, unlike their parents who regarded it as a taboo subject.

The official change is gradual and managed, but that of the people is much less so.

So while the family institution remains fairly cohesive, it is fraying around the edges with divorces rising to about 30% of marriages.

This rising permissiveness affects a cross-section of the population, from less inhibited teenagers to worldly-wise young professionals.

But surprisingly, the biggest impact seems to be on the older citizens who were once the most conservative.

The reason? Tens of thousands of women from the region, especially from China, who flock here as students or tourists and settling into Singapore’s flourishing sex trade.

There is a bigger reason: Viagra, the revolutionary anti-impotency drug that has significantly changed Singapore since it got here eight years ago.

“With growing affluence, Singaporeans want to feel good and have better sex lives, especially those who suffered from years of erectile dysfunction,” commented a doctor on Viagra’s demand.

“For these people, it is like escaping from decades of pent-up sexual frustrations,” he added.

The new trend seems to contradict the view that Singaporeans are among the world’s most under-sexed people.

The last Durex survey purportedly showed they had sex only 79 times a year, the second lowest rate in the world. Only Japan fared worse, with 46.

I have often doubted the accuracy of such surveys because of two reasons: firstly, traditional Asians rarely talk about their bedroom activities and, secondly, they measure lifestyle and promiscuity rather than sexual performance.

In other words, a person who faithfully sticks to his or her spouse tends to have – over his lifetime – less sex than someone who has numerous partners.

It appears to me that Singapore is just merely closing the wide gap between itself and other developed cities to get rid of its “boring” image among tourists.

It still bans Playboy, public nudity, as well as oral or anal sex even between husband and wife. Any sexual impropriety could end the career of a government official, and molesting a woman – like touching her body against her will – could earn the perpetrator a jail sentence and the cane.

So why is it affecting the aged more than others?

Recently, there has been a spate of court cases in which seemingly good family men murdered or beat up their Chinese mistresses after being cheated of large sums of money.

It prompted one reader to ask, “Why have Singapore men fallen so easily for China girls?”

One view is that these women – prettier, more feminine and better at pleasing men – were showing up the inadequacies of the Singaporean ladies. “They have the oomph factor the locals don’t have. It is a very intrinsic thing,” it is said.

Others believe the younger Singapore ladies are too manly while the middle-aged ones are too sexually unexciting because they were brought up in a strict fashion.

I have met local women in their 50s who still giggle when someone mentions the word “penis”. Many had stopped having sex with their husbands, while the men, virile or not, still hanker for it.

This deprivation has shown up in many ways among some grandfathers. I notice that whenever there is an art (not photo) exhibition on nudes, many of the visitors are elderly “heartlander” men.

At screenings of “X-rated” movies, one will likely find an audience made up predominantly of senior male citizens: many of them may never have seen a naked woman other than his wife.

A few have been charged for molesting their maids. One 80-year-old was caught exposing himself to women.

The arrival of Viagra and other potency pills has given hope of an extension to their sex life.

When it was launched here in 1998, the men faced it cautiously at first, then enthusiastically. But mature wives were disgusted, seeing it – quite rightly – as an adultery-promoting evil.

Most men have used it for sex with foreign women or mistresses rather than their wives. This is the reason why the blue pill has not resulted in a baby boom that the government hankers for.

Some people take exception to putting the blame on women, foreigner or Singaporean, whenever the men take the wrong turn. “All men should exercise self-discipline,” one said.

Others blame affluence and the changed world, which allow even middle-class Singaporeans to keep mistresses in neighbouring Indonesia and Malaysia.

Some elderly citizens, with Viagra in their wallets, make regular, discreet trips to nearby Batam or Johor to seek relief from their boring lives.

Up to a point, the government is not too unhappy with the relaxation. It wants to end Singapore’s stuffy, prudish reputation and turn it into a vibrant, fun city.

Managed prostitution, looser censorship, stage nudity – probably even strip shows or soft porn movies – will probably make an appearance (for adults) by 2009 when the two casinos open.

This sort of society could evoke a social price for the Singaporean family that doesn’t take much to figure out. That’s why the government is taking a slow, cautious approach.

o Seah Chiang Nee is a veteran journalist and editor of the information website littlespeck.com

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